Becoming a Greater Wife

John 14:15-17 "If ye love me, keep my commandments. And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you."

John 16:13 "Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come."

Introduction:

In Genesis 1 when creation is recorded, after every creation event God said it was good with this one exception: in Genesis 2:18 God said that it was not good for man to be alone so he created a help meet for him – that help meet (companion) was Eve, Adam’s wife. She was his helper and companion! From the beginning God’s plan has been for wives to be the companion and helper of her husband.

It is also recorded that God create man in his own image, a three part being: the father, the son and the spirit. These distinct beings are what we are fashioned after and we should look to each of God’s parts for examples. The husband follows the role model of Jesus Christ as the priest / son. The Holy Spirit is a role model for a wife to follow.

We have in this room great marriages, with great wives and husbands. Today I am going to give to you five roles of the Holy Spirit that you wives can use to become even greater wives!

Five roles of the Wife

1. Companion

*In John 14 we read about another comforter, Jesus being the first. This word that we read as Comforter in the Greek has two separate meanings. It can mean a helper or one that runs beside you. In John 14 we learn that God gave to us another helper / comforter that will be with us throughout eternity! If you are saved, the Holy Spirit lives within you, the Holy Spirit is a person - not a thing; you can sense his presence. He runs beside you and is your constant companion.

*Husbands need their wife to run along beside them, he needs to sense your presence; you can’t help your husband if you’re not there!

*Husbands need a buddy – he does not need to be treated like one of your children; he does not need another mother!

2. Comforter

The second meaning of the word translated a comforter is one that comforts and advises. Husbands have three distinct needs in the sense of needing comfort.

a. Praise him and encourage him:

*Wives need to learn to say negative things in a positive way
*To stay emotionally connected with your husband you must be able to keep him calm. It is an established fact that if your heart rate gets above 100 beats / min men can’t think! You need your husband to be able to think clearly.

b. Give affection:

*This is more than sexual fulfillment, though it is a part of affection. Men will not admit to this need but they do have it. Men do not cling but still need to receive affection. Did you know that when you husband is upset that your touch will calm! Oh, the power of a gentle touch!

*Men will gravitate to where they will get comforted. Give him comfort and he will not stray.

*Men will stay away from where they get upset. Do not drive your husband to another who will give comfort! Make sure that he finds all the comfort he needs at home.

c. Your faith comforts men:

When things are going seemingly wrong your faith in God’s provision and your faith in your husband will give him great comfort! Remind him that “God’s done this before and He will again!”, “It’s going to be alright.”, and “You’re the best man in the whole world!”

3. Counselor

We read in John 14:16-17 and then in John 16:13 how the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Truth. An important role of a great wife is to be that spirit of truth. Men and women do not think alike. Men use radar and women use sonar! Men can sometimes be more objective because they don’t deal with the emotions of a situation; whereas, men need to listen to their wives when emotions play an important role in a decision. Men are not in touch with emotions. I depend on Debbie to tell me about the feelings of situations because I just don’t see it most of the time. If she tells me not to trust or to trust someone, I’d better listen; her sonar sees things that I do not!

4. Convictor

John 16:8 “And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment.” The Holy Spirit is the one who convicts! Likewise you wives are truth sayers and keep your family on target! It is a documented fact that men live longer when they have a woman in their life. She says “Slow down!”, “Watch out for. . . !”, “Don’t eat that it’s not good for you, . . . !” Husbands, you’ll live longer ( you may not want to, but you will!)

5. Connector

Jesus tells us in John that the Holy Spirit will point others to Him. The Holy Spirit is a connector. Wives likewise should reconnect her husband to herself and the children on a daily basis. When your husband comes in the door it is your task to refocus his attention from everything on the other side of the door to everything that is inside the door!


In God’s master plan wives play a very important role as the Companion, the Comforter, the Counselor, the Convictor, and the Connector. Look to the Holy Spirit as your role model to go from being a great wife to being an even greater wife for the glory of the Lord!