Introduction – Please Show Me Which Box Top?
The nun, rockwall, steinham, brown, modern woman
The Modern woman: 2 roles (job / home), 2 children, 2 much.
_ The What = “Step In” and Support
_ The How = A Woman’s Top 3 Priorities
1. Nurture – create a relational environment that promotes the spiritual, emotional and physical welfare of those around you.
2. Protection – to minimize the harmful influences and effects upon lives she is entrusted to nurture; ex: mother bear.
3. Provision – to maximize the spiritual, emotional and physical resources and relationships to do good.
Same three words as for man but not in same order nor scope: man is exterior and interior; woman is interior (home)
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. . She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-12
“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.” 1 Timothy 5:14
“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:3-5
The focus is in the home to nurture the relationships of the husband and home.
What does God want you to do? Imagine what you want your life to be in 20 years; what will you marriage look like?; what will your children be like? What values to you want them to be living?
A wife’s 1st priority is to support, affirm, and empower her husband to fulfill his God-given calling both within and outside the home. (Genesis 2:18) corresponding part.
Sacrifice your life to your family
_ The Role = “The Champion” – A teammate and best friend
_ The Practical Outworking
1. Make Time With God Your #1 Priority
You can’t impart what you don’t possess. The most spiritually, emotionally and physically demanding job is running a home that yields transformational love.
- God has equipped you with abilities above that of man, you can multi-task five times better.
- You must draw on supernatural resources to do what you are called to do!
2. Pray For Him Regularly – your power is indirect
Prov 21:1 “The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.
- Pray for God to give him wisdom, to be humble, to have a thirst for God, to be used for God, to be sensitive.
3. Plan For Him Daily
- Planned attention, love, communication and nurture of your marriage is essential;
- Plan special dinners, a special deed of kindness, a time alone with your husband – put the kids to bed early!
- The hardest time in a man’s life – birth of 1st child. Effects of the new child on the husband, leads to 2nd greatest time for divorce which is the maturing of the children.
4. Prepare For Him Daily
- do what you did to catch him; your dress is appropriate and not sloppy; the environment is calm and loving, the home is not a disaster.
- question: what do I need to do to mentally, emotionally and physically prepare for a relational connection and romance
5. Protect Your Time With Him
- Your husband is the #1 human relationship on this planet!
- If you allow your children to supplant your husband you will destroy your marriage!
- Get away from the kids; make him #1
I. A wife’s 2nd priority is to create an environment in the home that nurtures and develops her children to fulfill God’s will for their lives. (1 Timothy 5:14)
The word “guide” means to care for or to manage; in other words you are the COO of the home. You must set priorities, and plan, utilize your best thinking, best time management by knowing the capacities, limits and needs of each family member.
_ The Role = “The Mother” – A teacher, counselor, consoler, and refuge for her children: the goal is to give your children what they need and not what they want – and what they need is to understand who God is!
Children should not set the direction of the family!
_ The Practical Outworking
1. Model Dependency on Christ.
· Your children ultimately not do what you tell them; they will become what you are (Luke 6:40) every disciple will become as their master. When your child sees you seeking God for provision; seeing you depending on God for every need – seeing what you say “yes” to and “No” to models dependency.
· You must set a priority to develop you spiritual self to be able to model dependency on God!
2. Pray For Your Children Fervently.
· What is your biggest concern for your children? It is likely will they do right in your absence. What control do you have? Zero! Your only power comes for your fervent prayer!
· Luke 11:9 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Things that you can’t change need to be turned over to God; He can change their hearts.
3. Create Structures and Scheduled Times That Make Family Life a Priority.
· Things which is hoped for but not scheduled rarely happens! Examples: dinner time, bed time, vacations, holidays, birthdays are all great times to schedule family time! Laugh, Kidd, share, pray; values will be transferred and your hearts will be knit together!
· Forget youth sports and the ballet; these do not build family ties.
4. Teach Them How to Live
· Mothers are the greatest teacher!
· Teach them to: read, pray, cook, listen, celebrate good things, to be generous, a craft, to give a speech, resolve conflict, write a story or letter, to play an instrument, a sport, how to relax, critical thinking, to ponder life.
5. Make Time For Them – Be Available
· The best things in life are not in your schedule – you have to be available. (Mommy, I’m going to cry in 30 minutes so get mentally prepared)
· Exhausted, harried, pushed, over extended, pressured, stressed out mothers simply cannot mother well! You must create margins of time in your life for your children!
· You must be there if at all possible for the early years of a child’s life. Brain development is greatest in the first 3 years, their personalities are set by 6; who is going to mother them to maximize this development? A baby sitter?
WE have evolved motherhood into a 2 role, 2 job, 2 much – We men have allowed our wives to be placed into an impossible situation!
II. A woman’s 3rd priority is to train younger women in the art of becoming a godly wife and mother. (Titus 2:3-5)
_ The Role = “The Mentor” – A spiritual guide to provide practical insight and coaching. We are commanded by God to train the upcoming generation.
_ The Practical Outworking = Join a Women’s Mentoring Program.
III. Important Questions To Ponder
1. Should a woman work outside the home? When? Why? Why not? Only if your first and second priorities are being fulfilled.
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