What's a Child to Do?

What’s a Child to Do?

Introduction – God’s First Words to Children

Ephesians viewpoint of children:

• Patria Poestas – The father’s power is absolute: to sell you, to take your life; for the lifetime of the father.
• Power to accept or reject: child laid at fathers feet – to accept by picking up the child or to reject by turning away: if rejected infant is taken to forum or destroyed.
• Unwanted children: too many mouths to feed. Children taken to forum and left; may be claimed by others who would sell child as slave (male) or prostitute (female).
• Merciless to the deformed or sickly child.

It is the bible and Christ that changed the culture by the introduction of family.

The first time God spoke to man at Mount Sinai he gave commandments; the first commandment regarding human relationships was the fifth commandment (Exodus 20:12)

The Command – “Honour thy father and thy mother:”
The Promise – “that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”
Exodus 20:12

I. What Does It Mean “To Honor” Your Parents?

• Definition = lit. “to glorify, to ascribe value and worth, to respect, to hold in high regard”
• Word Usage in Old Testament =
  Leviticus 19:3 – to fear, have awe, and respect.
  Deuteronomy 26:19 – give fame, praise, and speak well of a person.
  1 Sam 2:29-30 – wants to please and above any other relationship

II. Why Did God Give This Command?

1. It is the Foundation for Human Relationships: Honor is the foundation of all human relationships; this is God’s plan

2. It is the Foundation for Respect of Authority: God wants us to have reverence, obedience and respect for authority; He wants us to submit to an authority figure that we can see as a child so that when we are older we will submit to an authority that we cannot see.

3. It is the Foundation of Human development: How you relate to your parents will impact every area of your life. How you relate, how you love, how you obey, how you respect, how you respond: your relationship with your parents is the most fundamental shaping relationship you will every experience in the world. For better or worse, how you view your sexuality, your self image, your values, your morals, your principals are shaped by this relationship and are what you will become.

Parents, you are to live in such a way that you will deserve honor; Kids, there is a guardian, an authority figure, over you to whom you are to revere, respect, and obey as though they are speaking for God!

III. What Does It Look Like To Honor Our Parents?

• As a Child, I honor my parents by obeying them.

"Children, obey (obey = hoopo+achuo; under the sound of a voice) your parents in the Lord: for this is right. (God says so) Honour thy father and mother; which is the first (priority ranking) commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth." Ephesians 6:1-3

Summary: When you obey your parent, you are obeying God!

Definition of a parent = In loco dia which is Latin for instead of or in place of God.

Three thoughts about biblical obedience:

• It must be immediate
• It must be complete (the bible is full of examples of incomplete obedience, Saul being one of then). Partial obedience is dis-obedience.
• It is attitude: your body language must be right, your actions must be right, your eyes must be right: obedience must be from the heart!

Obey even if you do not agree with the command. Decide that I am going to obey mother, not because she is right (she is human after all), but because God ordained her to be my mother. When you do that all of God’s blessing will flow into into your life.

Another observation:

This passage was written at a time that it would be read to the church. Since this is a command directed to children then children would have been present to hear God’s command to them. This verse was written directly to children.

Three observations:

1. God addresses children directly, children have great value in His eyes.
2. Children are accountable for commands that they hear.
3. Since children were present with their families, it is meant for families to worship together!

• As a Young Person, I honor my parents by respecting and cooperating with them.

"Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old." Proverbs 23:22

"Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness." Proverbs 20:20

God is very serious about disobedient children, in fact He ranks disobedience right up with murder, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, and inventors of evil things. See Romans 1:29-30

Also repeated in 2 Timothy 3:2 “. . . disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy. . .”

God is serious about disrespect – see Deut: 21:18-21 for the Old Testament solution for rebellious child.

• As an Adult, I honor my parents by affirmation and provision.

(Affirmation verses)

“The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him.” (Affirmation by words) Proverbs 23:24

“Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it.” (Affirmation by action) Proverbs 3:27

The greatest gift of affirmation is your character; it’s who you are not how successful or rich.

Key words:

1. Communication (call them, write – e-mail them),
2. thoughtfulness (include them in special events), and
3. Respect (Ask them for some advice).
   
   (Provision verses)

“But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.” 1Timothy 5:4

“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” 1Timothy 5:8

Also see Matthew 15:1-9

IV. Are There Times When We Can’t Honor Our Parents’ Wishes? Yes!

Mark 10:23–31 = The Priority of Salvation
Luke 9:59–62 = The Priority of Service
Ephesians 5:31-33 = The Priority of Marriage
Proverbs 9:7–9 = The Priority of Wisdom


Discussion Questions
1. Why do you think God makes the family such a high priority? How does He feel about children?
2. How does our culture’s view of both “authority” and “aging” affect our obedience to the 5th Command?
3. In what ways do you feel good about how you are “honoring your parents?” Which aspects need some attention? How will you address these?
4. Where do you find it difficult “to know” exactly what honoring your parents looks like? Who could you talk to get help in this area?