God’s design for marriage is a “Win-Win” situation: The husband is like a green house and the wife is like a cheerleader. Ephesians 5:33 says “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”; one of God’s keys to an indestructible marriage is stated in these two words: Sacrifice and Honor; the husband to be sacrificial to his wife and the wife to honor and respect her husband.
We know that the devil hates marriage and has two primary agendas:
- To sow strife between the Christian and God.
- To sow strife between the husband and wife because marriage is a picture of the relationship between the Christian and God.
Stress is a huge epidemic in
To have a marriage that is truly indestructible as God intended we must learn to manage stress!
The model of success is “The journey is the destination”; the model of failure is “The destination is the journey”: in both statements it is always about where we are going! We’re saving for college, we’re saving for a new house, we’re saving for retirement; oh yeah, we’re miserable today but when we get enough money – Oh, we are going to be so happy!
There are two curses of the driven life. The first curse of the driven life is not getting what you want; you live your whole life for something you never get. The second curse of the driven life is getting what you want – and then you realize it is not like you thought it would be! You get that new house, car, position, all the accolades and you wake up one morning and realize that you are just as empty as you were before. You realize that it wasn’t worth all the sacrifices you made in attaining, especially when you had to sacrifice the most important things in your life – God and family.
The only way that you will be able to focus on the most important things in your life, God and family relationships, the way that you should is to put your faith in God that He will take care of you as you give your attention to Him and your family. It all comes down to your faith in God! Jesus asked the question in Matthew chapter 6 ‘why do you worry oh you of little faith, don’t you know that you have a father who cares for you?’
“I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the
The Bible also says in Hebrews 11:6 “But without faith it is impossible to please Him . . .”
Listen, being a provider is a very good thing, all men and women who work are doing a good thing. But, there is a fine line between being diligent to provide and being driven. The difference between a driven person and a diligent person is that the diligent person does what needs to be done and stops; whereas the driven person cannot stop and just searches for that next opportunity. That is the difference, it takes faith to stop! It takes faith to stop rest and put priority on God and family: this is one of the greatest levels of faith; this is a faith that God rewards!
In God’s plan for our life he commands us to stop one day out of seven – this day is called the Sabbath Day. A lot of people think that God is a slave driver, that He is a harsh task master and someone who is compelling us to do more and more. The truth is He is exactly the opposite! If you want to see a harsh task master take a look at yourself in a mirror! Did you know that Americans have the longest work week of any industrialized nation? We work harder and longer than any other group of people; we are a driven people. We excel and are diligent – that is a good virtue. But we are driven; we as a people do not know how to stop! God’s system you have to stop one day in seven; you had to stop one year in every seven; and you had to stop for two years in the 49th and 50th year. How would you like to have a two year vacation? God is a generous boss!
The nation Israel did not stop. Remember Psalm 23 where it says “He maketh me lie down in green pastures . . .” Did you know that the #1 cause of illness today is stress related?
God says ‘You won’t stop? I have ways to make you stop!’ Did you know that 2/3rd of all office visits to the family physician are due to stress related symptoms? God did not design your bodies to continually go; He designed it to rest one day in every seven.
It takes Faith:It takes faith to stop! It takes faith that you have a father that will provide for you while you are resting. Psalm 127:2 “It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.” You have to believe that your God in heaven is able to make you more money for you in six days than a heather can in seven!So, why don’t people stop? Many people are fearful of the competition getting ahead of them. They believe that their child has to be in three different sports, take two musical instruments, and learn dance so that they will have a competitive advantage and so that their child will not “miss it”, what ever “it” is. Listen; if your child has the blessing of God on them they are not missing anything!!
You have to have faith that says “we’re going to stop and have family dinner together; we are going to shut off the cell phone, the internet and the television and believe that the universe will not go into a negative vortex! You are not going to miss out on anything because you are disconnected.
Do you understand that Jesus did not have a cell phone? He did not have a fax machine, and did not have IME? Imagine Peter in the garden sending an IM to Jesus saying “Watch out, Judas is coming!”?
They didn’t have that stuff. Some may think that they were backward but I tend to believe that were blessed! I’m thankful for technology; but, it is my servant and not my master!
You have to stop:We have to learn to stop! God is good! Men were not made for the Sabbath but the Sabbath was made for men. He made it for you to re-create. You need to stop every 7th day to recreate so that you can go another six. We have a good God who doesn’t want you to live a driven lifeYou say “We’re going to send our children to the best of schools so we are sacrificing today so that we can give this to them. It is a worthy thing to desire your children the best of schools. But listen; when you give up your relationship with your child today, there is nothing you can give them tomorrow that is worth the loss of that relationship they lost!
What we need to say is that “We’re going to have a family today and God; we want the right opportunities for our children and are trusting in You for that blessing!”
The cost of Stress:
The driven life and the stress that it brings have a tremendous cost! Stress brings physical problems and depression. Depression is epidemic in America! The cause of most depression is mental exhaustion. Stress brings about most marriage problems. A successful marriage takes energy and priority, if you are so exhausted from all the things you do you will not have sufficient energy to maintain the marriage.
If the devil can’t get in front of you to stop you he will get behind you and push! He will be constantly bringing things into your life to distract you and to cause you to lose focus on the things you should have as a priority namely each other!
Stress brings about marriage problems, sexual problems, communication problems financial problems, emotional problems – all of these are directly related to stress and exhaustion. Stress causes all these problems as well as child problems and their behavior problems.
So many of us are guilty of saying yes to often. We say yes because of fear of failure and fear of men.It takes faith to say no. Jesus said in Matthew Chapter 6 that we have a father who cares for you and desires to provide for you; would you let Him care for you? The faith we need is a faith that says that you know that you have a father and do let a orphan spirit drive you where you think that provision is entirely up to you. You are not fatherless child! You are a fathered child and your father cares for you.
Would you stop? And would you care about God and care about people and seek first the things that are important – He will provide all your needs!Do not let the devil push you; do not yield to the lures he dangles in front of you; lures of money, success, and possessions; do not justify inappropriate priorities and sacrifice your family relationships for things that are unobtainable or empty.
You may not have that tomorrow! We are living in a today; a successful future means using our “today’s” properly and getting God’s blessing on our life.
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