God’s Big Idea about Finances
Introduction:
The most widely accepted idea about a financial goal is to achieve “financial Freedom”. Financial freedom is freedom from the slavery of the lender and freedom from the bondage of materialism. My thought process for years has been that if a person is not a slave to the lender, has the right view of money and possessions and recognizes that God owns it all, then he (or she) is free; he is not caught up in materialism. None of this is wrong, but, I really think that that God’s plan is different than this. The ultimate goal is contentment! I have observed that a person can be financially independent and not be content. Conversely a person can be content without being financially independent.
1 Timothy 6:6-8 “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.”
Hebrews 13:5 “. . . and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”
How to be Financially Content:
First of all is it possible today to be content? The world demands that for us to be content we have to have the latest gadget, the newest big screen T.V., the newest technology, the latest fashion. If you do not have the money to obtain then you are not content.
What is contentment? Contentment is being satisfied with one’s circumstances, not complaining, not craving something else, and having a mind at peace. Another person has said contentment has three views: looking back without regret, looking at the present without envy, and looking to the future without fear. Contentment has nothing to do with money. A person may have little or much money and still not be content; we can complain whether we have little or much; and we can covet just as easily with a lot of money or with a little.
King Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 5:10 “He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this is also vanity." Contentment has nothing to do with money! It is a learned response. Paul said in Philippians 4:11-12 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.”
The Paul is referring to learning to think correctly about money, possessions and God. Contentment is learning to see money and possessions as God sees them, and nothing more. Money and possessions are vehicles for providing for our needs and those of others. Contentment is also learning to see God for who he is. He is the bedrock of our contentment. All you need is what you have; what you have is what He is; you cannot have more; and you cannot have less.
Only when I realize that the God of the universe loves me and has my best interests at heart can I be content. Only when I realize that He is sovereign and in control of my vocation and income can I truly be content. Only when I learn to trust Him can I have true contentment. You see, contentment is a spiritual matter; it’s not a money matter. God is always there; He never changes, He is consistent and stable. You can trust Him, but, can you say the same about money? Proverbs 23:4-5 “Labour not to be rich: cease from thine own wisdom. Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? For riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven.”
No financial principle can have a greater impact on you or free you up more than this truth: Money is not the key to contentment! Contentment has everything to do with your relationship with God and nothing to do with money. Once you are free from your love of money and the pursuit of it, you can have a lot or a little and be content all the same. At that point you have learned the secret of contentment.
What does Financial Contentment Look Like?
Two examples:
First consider a family that chooses to live within their means; they have a modest home, an older car, much entertainment at home – little debt and a savings account. This family has low stress, their needs are met, and they have time together as a family.
On the other extreme is a man who earns in excess of $600,000 per year and is miserable as he spends $700,000 per year. He is so stressed because he wonders how he can make it.
Both of these examples are from real people, with real families; both are church goers. The key to contentment in one’s finances is not the amount one makes, but rather a willingness to live within that amount.
Financial contentment has less to do with money and more to do with our attitude, our belief systems and decisions. Financial contentment brings peace of mind! Financial security is not the same as financial peace of mind. You can have financial security without financial peace of mind.
So then, what is financial peace of mind?
Financial peace of mind has four elements: eternal perspective, faith based decisions, biblically wise counsel and financially wise counsel.
Eternal perspective
Having an eternal perspective helps us deal with the earthly ups and downs of life, stock market highs and lows, and acquiring and losing stuff. James 4:13-15 “Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain: whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.”
We need to keep in mind the brevity of life; I call it the 100 year rule. When it comes down to life in 100 years, all that matters then is, did I glorify God in all that I do? It is then that you realize that I can be less concerned about hoarding, giving my kids only the best stuff, being comfortable at all costs, seeking a life of leisure or keeping up with my neighbor.
Faith based decisions
Faith is so vital to our relationship with God:
If I am exhibiting faith, then I’m pleasing God.
If I’m pleasing God, then it’s easier to be content with my physical and financial position.
As the Bible reminds us in Hebrews 11:6 “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” It takes faith to give a substantial amount to your church. It takes faith to launch a new career or business. It takes faith to give up immediate gratification now and invest for later.
Biblically wise counsel and Financially wise counsel
If you rely on movies, advertising, fashion trends, Hollywood or sports celebrities, or the gang at work for your guidance and counsel then you will not be content! You’ll be anxious and feeling as if you don’t have what it takes to be successful. “Seek ye first the God’s kingdom and counsel” Matthew 6:33. Look at what the Bible says about earthly wisdom and heavenly wisdom:
James 3:16-17 “For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.”
2 Timothy 3:16-17 “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.”
Which wisdom do you seek?
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Tool, a Test, and a Testimony
We are in a growth Process:
We have a limited, finite time on earth; we are to use our time, our talent and our possessions for the Lord.
Money and possessions are used by God as a Tool, a Test, and a Testimony.
Paul understood this as he penned Philippians 4:11-12 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.” He has learned that God uses money and possessions to shape our lives.
a) Money and possessions are effective tools that God uses to help you to grow. God allows times of having much or little. During these times the question should be “God what do you want me to learn?” He wants you to learn the right response to these situations. He wants to know that you will continue to do his will and trust Him during these times. You need to know that God is not trying to frustrate you; He’s trying to get your attention!
Luke 16:11-12 “If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches? And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man's, who shall give you that which is your own?”
b) Money and possession is also a test! Your eternal position and reward are determined by your faithfulness in your handling of property entrusted to you; remember Matthew 25:14-30 and the lazy servant? The lazy servant not only lost his reward but also lost his position all because he did not use God's possessions for God's intended purposes.
c) Money and possession is also a testimony! Christians are called to be salt and light!
Matthew 5:13-16 “Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
Our attitude toward wealth is a testimony. Those around you who know you are a Christian is watching you to see what, if anything, is different about you. They will observe your testimony when He withholds. They will observe your attitude when He gives. Jesus wants children that have learned to rely on Him!
Also note that the Amount is not Important:
In Matthew 25:14-30 you find that the first two servants are both told they have been faithful, and they both received the same reward. It did not matter what they started with; it did not matter to what degree the increase; what mattered is that they put the master’s resources to use for profit! It mattered How they handled the resources.
Have you ever wondered why God gave the talent of the unfaithful servant to the one who had the most? I don’t know – it doesn’t really matter! Why does someone have more than me: why does someone have less than me? I don’t know this either. We spend too much time trying to figure out God when all He wants is for us to be faithful. What I do know is that I’m only accountable for what He has put in my hand!
Bear in mind that God neither condemns wealth nor commends poverty!
Faith requires Action:
Simply knowing God owns it all is not enough! The lazy servant knew he had his master’s money but chose to do nothing and suffered great loss. Many of us know what we ought to do, but we disobey – or delay. We know deep down what God would have us to do, but we take no action. We take no action because we fear making a mistake, or we become frustrated or confused about what to do. We end up doing what we feel good about. Living by feelings rather than truth can be dangerous!
We are constantly bombarded with the world view; the world view tells us to acquire and to consume! The world view of today is “It’s all about me!” However, the most common world view dictates where you live, how you dress, the car you drive – all to gain stature among men, to appear attractive, or to experience less inconvenience (pain). If you have a Biblical world view then you behavior is dictated by what the Bible says. Your world view will determine if you are a faithful servant!
We have a limited, finite time on earth; we are to use our time, our talent and our possessions for the Lord.
Money and possessions are used by God as a Tool, a Test, and a Testimony.
Paul understood this as he penned Philippians 4:11-12 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.” He has learned that God uses money and possessions to shape our lives.
a) Money and possessions are effective tools that God uses to help you to grow. God allows times of having much or little. During these times the question should be “God what do you want me to learn?” He wants you to learn the right response to these situations. He wants to know that you will continue to do his will and trust Him during these times. You need to know that God is not trying to frustrate you; He’s trying to get your attention!
Luke 16:11-12 “If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches? And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man's, who shall give you that which is your own?”
b) Money and possession is also a test! Your eternal position and reward are determined by your faithfulness in your handling of property entrusted to you; remember Matthew 25:14-30 and the lazy servant? The lazy servant not only lost his reward but also lost his position all because he did not use God's possessions for God's intended purposes.
c) Money and possession is also a testimony! Christians are called to be salt and light!
Matthew 5:13-16 “Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
Our attitude toward wealth is a testimony. Those around you who know you are a Christian is watching you to see what, if anything, is different about you. They will observe your testimony when He withholds. They will observe your attitude when He gives. Jesus wants children that have learned to rely on Him!
Also note that the Amount is not Important:
In Matthew 25:14-30 you find that the first two servants are both told they have been faithful, and they both received the same reward. It did not matter what they started with; it did not matter to what degree the increase; what mattered is that they put the master’s resources to use for profit! It mattered How they handled the resources.
Have you ever wondered why God gave the talent of the unfaithful servant to the one who had the most? I don’t know – it doesn’t really matter! Why does someone have more than me: why does someone have less than me? I don’t know this either. We spend too much time trying to figure out God when all He wants is for us to be faithful. What I do know is that I’m only accountable for what He has put in my hand!
Bear in mind that God neither condemns wealth nor commends poverty!
Faith requires Action:
Simply knowing God owns it all is not enough! The lazy servant knew he had his master’s money but chose to do nothing and suffered great loss. Many of us know what we ought to do, but we disobey – or delay. We know deep down what God would have us to do, but we take no action. We take no action because we fear making a mistake, or we become frustrated or confused about what to do. We end up doing what we feel good about. Living by feelings rather than truth can be dangerous!
We are constantly bombarded with the world view; the world view tells us to acquire and to consume! The world view of today is “It’s all about me!” However, the most common world view dictates where you live, how you dress, the car you drive – all to gain stature among men, to appear attractive, or to experience less inconvenience (pain). If you have a Biblical world view then you behavior is dictated by what the Bible says. Your world view will determine if you are a faithful servant!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
September 20, 2009
God Owns it All!
Matthew 25:14-30 "For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods. And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey. Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents. And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two. But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money. After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them. And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more. His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them. His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed: And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine. His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed: Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury. Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents. For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth."
We learn in Psalms 50:7-12 and Haggai 2:8 that God owns it all. There is nothing in your hand but that God put it there to use. In reality your hours, your automobile, your spouse, your children, your Bass boat, even you 401K belongs to God: we just possess it for a season. What this means then is that we simply become managers of what belongs to God.
Once you come to the realization that you really own nothing but are a stewart (manager) of God's property you can easily come to three truths.
First: God has a right to whatever He wants, whenever He wants it. He’s the owner and has rights. As a steward I only have responsibilities!
If you really believe this then:
a) Each financial decision is a very important decision because you are handling God’s resources.
b) You will have less anxiety over money because you are just a manager; He has promised to meet your needs.
These two facts leads to true contentment. Therefore, whether you have much or little is un-important; what you possess is not yours but God’s to use for a season – He is supplying your needs!
Second: Not only are giving decisions a spiritual decision, but, every spending decision is a spiritual decision.
a) Nothing is more or less spiritual in buying a car, taking a vacation, buying food, or paying a debt; all of these spending decisions are responsible uses of God’s resources.
b) God doesn’t say much about what are correct uses of His resources.
Matthew 25:14-30 "For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods. And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey. Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents. And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two. But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money. After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them. And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more. His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them. His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed: And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine. His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed: Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury. Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents. For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth."
We learn in Psalms 50:7-12 and Haggai 2:8 that God owns it all. There is nothing in your hand but that God put it there to use. In reality your hours, your automobile, your spouse, your children, your Bass boat, even you 401K belongs to God: we just possess it for a season. What this means then is that we simply become managers of what belongs to God.
Once you come to the realization that you really own nothing but are a stewart (manager) of God's property you can easily come to three truths.
First: God has a right to whatever He wants, whenever He wants it. He’s the owner and has rights. As a steward I only have responsibilities!
If you really believe this then:
a) Each financial decision is a very important decision because you are handling God’s resources.
b) You will have less anxiety over money because you are just a manager; He has promised to meet your needs.
These two facts leads to true contentment. Therefore, whether you have much or little is un-important; what you possess is not yours but God’s to use for a season – He is supplying your needs!
Second: Not only are giving decisions a spiritual decision, but, every spending decision is a spiritual decision.
a) Nothing is more or less spiritual in buying a car, taking a vacation, buying food, or paying a debt; all of these spending decisions are responsible uses of God’s resources.
b) God doesn’t say much about what are correct uses of His resources.
c) God give to us to use resources to:
- Provide for our needs
- Benefit us
- To reach the world for Him
- Bear in mind that God gives latitude and responsibility; we will give an account on how we used His resources. (Matthew 25:14-30)
Third: Wise stewardship is an indicator of spiritual health.
You can fake prayer, bible study, evangelism, and even church going, but your checkbook reveals what is truly important to you!
What are you spending God's resources on? Is it self? Is it to meet the needs of others? Is in to promote the spreading of the Gospel?
Would God be pleased with how you are spending what he has placed in your hand?
Monday, September 14, 2009
Biblical perspective of money - Part 1
The Buck Stops Here!
I'll take full responsibility, as in “You needn't call my boss; the buck stops here.” This saying gained fame as a sign on the desk of President Harry S. Truman. It alludes to another expression that means the opposite, pass the buck.
The Big Picture.
Think of an Iceberg. What you see is about 10% of the total mass of the berg; that means that 90% is below the surface. Concepts about handling money and possessions is just like that. What you see, the techniques, tools, stratigies, and methods, is the 10% - The how to; what you don't see - the Why, is the foundation for decisions and includes the what I call spiritual capital, the eternal perspective.
Introduction to the series:
Series will include the following topics:
· Money: a tool, a test, and a testimony
· God’s idea about finances
· Commonsense principles that can change your life
· How much is enough
· Setting financial fitness goals
· Making smart Choices
· Global economy
· Others possible
Stewardship is a concept recurring throughout the Bible.
· Genesis 15:2 names Eliezer, Abram’s steward
· Genesis 43:18 – 20 discusses Joseph’s steward
· Matthew 20:1-9 discusses a duty of a steward
· 1 Corinthians 4:1-2 says “. . . it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.”
Essentially a steward is charged with the management of the resources of the owner of the resources.
Biblical stewardship is defined as the use of God given gifts and resources (time, talent, treasure, truth and relationships) for the accomplishment of God given goals and objectives.
Compare:
Ownership (full rights) vs. Possession (rights allowed by the owner)
Here is a truth: God owns it all! Read the following passages.
· Psalms 50:7-12 "Hear, O my people, and I will speak; O Israel, and I will testify against thee: I am God, even thy God. I will not reprove thee for thy sacrifices or thy burnt offerings, to have been continually before me. I will take no bullock out of thy house, nor he goats out of thy folds. For every beast of the forest is mine, and the cattle upon a thousand hills. I know all the fowls of the mountains: and the wild beasts of the field are mine. If I were hungry, I would not tell thee: for the world is mine, and the fulness thereof."
· Haggai 2:8 "The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the LORD of hosts."
September 13, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Psalm 116
Introduction:
Psalm 116:1-8 "I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications. 2 Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live. 3 The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow. 4 Then called I upon the name of the LORD; O LORD, I beseech thee, deliver my soul. 5 Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful. 6 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me. 7 Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee. 8 For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling."
· Render by living a Holy life
· Render by living through Him
Psalm 116:1-8 "I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications. 2 Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live. 3 The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow. 4 Then called I upon the name of the LORD; O LORD, I beseech thee, deliver my soul. 5 Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful. 6 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me. 7 Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee. 8 For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling."
I love the Lord because:
- He hears our prayers
- He is gracious and merciful
- He preserves me
Psalm 116:12 "What shall I render unto the LORD for all his benefits toward me? 13 I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the LORD. 14 I will pay my vows unto the LORD now in the presence of all his people. 15 Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints. 16 O LORD, truly I am thy servant; I am thy servant, and the son of thine handmaid: thou hast loosed my bonds. 17 I will offer to thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and will call upon the name of the LORD."
What to Render unto the Lord:
- Salvation: “13 I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the LORD.”
· Forgiveness of sin is God’s gift
· He wants you to accept it
· He wants you to tell others
- Surrender (yielding): “14 I will pay my vows unto the LORD now in the presence of all his people.”
· Render by living a Holy life
· Render by living through Him
Romans 6:12-14 “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.”
- (Be a) Saint (finish well): “Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.”
· Live the Christian life to the end
· Don’t back slide
· Grow in the Lord
- (Be a) Servant: “O LORD, truly I am thy servant”
· Do the works of Christ
· Give to the needs of others
· Speak the works of God to others
· Be an encourager
· Be humble
- Without bonds! “thou hast loosed my bonds.”
- Sacrifice: “I will offer to thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving”
· Render to God thanks for the things He has done for you
· Take time today and reflect of what God has done for you
· Give thanks
· Tell others about what a wonderful God you have.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Becoming a Romans 12 Christian series
Romans 12 is written to those asking the question of how to become more than a believer in Christ but to become a disciple of Christ. The chapter lays out five relationships:
1. Your relationship with God – surrendered to Him
2. Your relationship with the world – separate from the world system
3. Your relationship with yourself - sober assessment
4. Your relationship with believers - serving in love
5. Your relationship with non-believers - supernaturally responding to evil with good
1. Your relationship with God – surrendered to Him
2. Your relationship with the world – separate from the world system
3. Your relationship with yourself - sober assessment
4. Your relationship with believers - serving in love
5. Your relationship with non-believers - supernaturally responding to evil with good
Becoming a Romans 12 Christian - Surrendered
What does it mean to be a Christian?
When I got saved.
I basically grew up in church with two uncles being pastors and Grandpa Williams being the founder of the Hessville Baptist Church. But it wasn’t until age seven that one Sunday I stopped my play and for the first time listened to what my uncle was preaching. The Holy Spirit smote my heart with my need to get saved and to ask for forgiveness for my sin and I responded and walked the aisle. Two Sundays later I got baptized. It was some time after this that I started to wonder that now that I’m saved and on my way to heaven what did that really mean? In other words I was asking “what did God expect from me now that I was His child?” Was it religious practice like my Catholic and Jewish friends; or was it something else?
What do you think God wants from us?
Is it going to church? Reading your bible? Dressing a certain way? Getting holy water sprinkled on you? Memorizing verses,
What does it mean to be a Christian?
Is it what you do – or is it what you are? What was it about the early church that turned the world upside down; what made them special disciples of God?
Romans chapter twelve reveals some answers for What God wants of us as saved persons.
What does God want? First of all He wants a relationship with you!
He wants us Surrendered to Him!
"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service." Romans 12:1
This first verse has three elements; a command, a motivation and a reason.
Command
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. Romans 12:1
Notice that it says a living sacrifice. This was not a onetime sacrifice where an animal was slain once, but He wants us daily, living still and giving your life to him
Motivation
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. Romans 12:1
Our motivation is that we should want to give our life to Him because He has had mercy on us and forgiven us of our sin; not because it was deserved or worked for but simply because He has mercy on your soul.
Reason
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. Romans 12:1
God does not expect unreasonable service. His expectation is for us to live a sacrificial life that is holy – that is the acceptable life.
Embracing Surrender
So, just how do you do this? It’s like you are going to write a personal check to God, the amount of the check is All that you are and all that you have; then you endorse the check and present it to Him!
All that I am: Body, Mind, Emotions, Spirit, and Giftedness.
When I got saved.
I basically grew up in church with two uncles being pastors and Grandpa Williams being the founder of the Hessville Baptist Church. But it wasn’t until age seven that one Sunday I stopped my play and for the first time listened to what my uncle was preaching. The Holy Spirit smote my heart with my need to get saved and to ask for forgiveness for my sin and I responded and walked the aisle. Two Sundays later I got baptized. It was some time after this that I started to wonder that now that I’m saved and on my way to heaven what did that really mean? In other words I was asking “what did God expect from me now that I was His child?” Was it religious practice like my Catholic and Jewish friends; or was it something else?
What do you think God wants from us?
Is it going to church? Reading your bible? Dressing a certain way? Getting holy water sprinkled on you? Memorizing verses,
What does it mean to be a Christian?
Is it what you do – or is it what you are? What was it about the early church that turned the world upside down; what made them special disciples of God?
Romans chapter twelve reveals some answers for What God wants of us as saved persons.
What does God want? First of all He wants a relationship with you!
He wants us Surrendered to Him!
"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service." Romans 12:1
This first verse has three elements; a command, a motivation and a reason.
Command
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. Romans 12:1
Notice that it says a living sacrifice. This was not a onetime sacrifice where an animal was slain once, but He wants us daily, living still and giving your life to him
Motivation
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. Romans 12:1
Our motivation is that we should want to give our life to Him because He has had mercy on us and forgiven us of our sin; not because it was deserved or worked for but simply because He has mercy on your soul.
Reason
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. Romans 12:1
God does not expect unreasonable service. His expectation is for us to live a sacrificial life that is holy – that is the acceptable life.
Embracing Surrender
So, just how do you do this? It’s like you are going to write a personal check to God, the amount of the check is All that you are and all that you have; then you endorse the check and present it to Him!
All that I am: Body, Mind, Emotions, Spirit, and Giftedness.
All that I have: Money, Possessions, Relationships, Reputation, Skills, and Abilities.
Command: Offer your body as a living sacrifice.
It’s putting all the chips on the table and say to God here is everything that I have.
Motivation: An awareness and thankfulness of God’s mercy to you.
Reason: Offering your body as a living sacrifice
It’s an act of worship that is holy and pleasing to God. We sometimes get so caught up in doing things that seem to be the right "religious" things to do when what God wants is for us to just be surrendered to him in every thing.
It’s putting all the chips on the table and say to God here is everything that I have.
Motivation: An awareness and thankfulness of God’s mercy to you.
Reason: Offering your body as a living sacrifice
It’s an act of worship that is holy and pleasing to God. We sometimes get so caught up in doing things that seem to be the right "religious" things to do when what God wants is for us to just be surrendered to him in every thing.
Becoming a Romans 12 Christian - Separate
Introduction Separate from the World
Have you ever wondered how a Christian can get the Best from God. Ever wonder why there are so many people who confess Christ but so few disciples? There are Christians whose walk doesn’t match the talk, which has behavior of addictive sin, one foot in the world one, one foot in heaven: we all struggle with the lures of the world.
To get the best God has to offer He instructs us: “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God”. Romans 12:2
This verse simply teaches two ideas: NO (Stop Doing This) - Do not be conformed to this world; and YES (Start Doing This) - Be transformed by the renewing of your mind .
By obeying Gods instruction found in Romans 12:2 you will realize three outcomes leading to God’s Will:
Introduction Separate from the World
Have you ever wondered how a Christian can get the Best from God. Ever wonder why there are so many people who confess Christ but so few disciples? There are Christians whose walk doesn’t match the talk, which has behavior of addictive sin, one foot in the world one, one foot in heaven: we all struggle with the lures of the world.
To get the best God has to offer He instructs us: “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God”. Romans 12:2
This verse simply teaches two ideas: NO (Stop Doing This) - Do not be conformed to this world; and YES (Start Doing This) - Be transformed by the renewing of your mind .
By obeying Gods instruction found in Romans 12:2 you will realize three outcomes leading to God’s Will:
- Good - Brings good into your life.
- Pleasing/Acceptable - Meets your deepest needs.
- Perfect - Produces positive results.
What do you think the Bible means to not be conformed to the world?
The World system teaches that: your significance, your worth, how you dress, who you marry, your beauty, your cloths, your car, your home, and your job all dictate whether you will be happy. This lie is fed to us daily, taught to us in school and believed by most of the world. But God says that this just lead to unhappiness!
Compare 1 John 2:15-17 to the world system.
Separate from the World: 1 John 2:15-17
“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.”
What the World Offers You:
We are a sex saturated, materialistic society; one foot in the world and one out; this leads to unhappiness and guilt!
- Lust - Lust of the flesh
- Greed - Lust of the eyes
- Pride - The pride of life
There was an old sailor who had neither wife nor children. Over his life time he had gathered a bag of natural pearls that he could sell for great value. He met a little girl on the beach who was on vacation who befriends him. She had a string of plastic beads which she treasured. He decided to string the pearls and give them to the little girl. He offered her the real pearls for the string of plastic beads and she refused saying that these were her beads and she would not give them up for anything.
Many of us have plastic pearls:
- A car or house that you really can’t afford
- Extravagant goods
- Flirting, alcohol, food
- Second rate stuff
God is offering you a much more valuable life that the plastic that the world can offer; He is offering you the real thing!
Transformation of the mind:
The second part of the command is to transform your mind. You’ve got to start thinking right, you can’t do it on your own. It takes a supernatural power! You must start putting God’s word into your mind. Memorize bible verses; turn off the television and dwell on what God has to say to you. The Holy Spirit will take God’s word that you have hid in your mind and turn your thinking!
God wants you to have pleasure and things: the right things at the right time and in the right way!
Becoming a Romans 12 Christian - sober self assessment
Romans 12:3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. 4 For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office: 5 So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another. 6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith; 7 Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching; 8 Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness.
Have you ever noticed how we behave differently according to who we are around? We behave one way at church, another way while at work, and still another way in the home, and perhaps differently when in the store. There is a lizard called a Chameleon that changes its color according to it’s surroundings. We are very much like this in that we try to hide who we are by portraying a different image according to our surroundings. Verse 3 of Romans 12 tells us to think soberly, to have some introspection of oneself reveals us all to be nothing but big phonies.
We will spend our lives asking & answering three basic questions:
Our Questions: Who am I? Where do I belong? What am I supposed to do with my life?
Our Longing: Identity Security Significance
For the rest of your life you will be asking these questions and the world system will give you false answers. But in Romans 12:3-8 God answers these questions for you.
We behave like a chameleon due to sin; after Adam sinned and God asked the question “Adam where are you” he responded “I was afraid, so I hid”: We have been hiding ever since that time. Who am I? I have shame due to sin, I hide myself behind false views of who I am; not wanting others to see who I really am!
The Command verse 3 “think soberly”
Principle: Don’t think wrongly about yourself.
Application: Be honest in your self-assessment. Avoid both arrogance and false humility.
The Reason verse 4-5
Principle: We are part of Christ’s body – the Church.
Application: Recognize your strengths and weaknesses as well as the strengths and weaknesses of others.
Put It in Practice verse 6-8
Principle: Do what God has created you to do in the Church.
Application: You have a gift your church needs – use it!
Pride is the most inhibiting thing in everyone’s life and scripture is clear in this that God hates pride – self sufficiency. The most liberating thing that happens to you when you got saved is that you don’t have to hide anymore; you can be who you are, knowing that you are part of the supernatural body of Christ with a specific purpose!
An exercise: Strengths and weaknesses:
Jot down the top three of each. Most people can jot down their weaknesses easy and but have to search for their strengths (false humility). But the truth is that we all have strengths that God has given us for his work, and weaknesses, so that we are dependent on others in the body of Christ.
When you discover who God made you to be and you start operating in the way God intended for you, you will have great satisfaction in life!
Three things to remember:
- You are unconditionally loved.
- You are uniquely made.
- God has a plan for your life.
You can spend your life answering the question “who am I?” incorrectly and seek worldly rewards ($, position, things, fame) changing how people see you to please people (who don’t really care) by hiding who you really are
or
You can accept who God made you to be and use the gifts He has gifted you with to fulfill His eternal purpose.
It’s up to you.
Becoming a Romans 12 Christian – Serving others
Jesus gave his disciples a new commandment; John 13: 34, 35 “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”
This is not a superficial love but a deeper, sacrificial, God given love; one whereby the depth if it would be noticed by others.
One of Jesus’ last earthly prayers is recorded in John 17:11 “. . . and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are.”
“. . . that they may be one, as we are” In other words, Jesus expects us to be doing life from the heart. He wants us to love one another in such a way as we can feel free to bear our own heart to our brothers and sisters in Him. It is getting and giving life to others!
Romans 12: 9 – 13 “Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.”
We are to become a family with strong bonds between each other!
Romans 12:9 – 13 speak to how to do this and are outlined as follows:
· The Real You
· Meeting Real Needs
· For the Right Reason
· In the Right Way
The Real You: - “Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.”
· The word “dissimulation” is rooted in the theater where the actors would present themselves as a different character by use of a mask. God is asking us to remove the mask that we hide behind; be open, honest, with out hypocrisy
· People hide behind a mask to hide their sinful nature. When Adam sinned the first thing he did was to hide. When Christians are in sin they will hide behind the mask of Christianity; we learn the right words to say, the right things to do, and yet, our hearts are black with the sin in our lives. God’s love can only flow through a clean vessel. Clean up your heart, confess your sin to God and turn from it.
Meeting Real Needs: - “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;”
· Being a disciple of Christ brings deep devotion, unselfish behavior to other Christians.
o Encouraging
o Right words
o Having empathy
o There is pain in every pew
· Not just giving, but receiving
For the Right Reason: - “Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;”
· Not slow but fervent
· Doing all things as an offering to God
In the Right Way: - “Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.”
· Not to receive praise of men
· Have an Upward focus
· Treat others as Jesus would
· God’s love to others flows from His Spirit presence living in a Christian
· You must invest time and money in someone else.
Becoming a Romans 12 Christian – Supernatural response
Who is that one person in your life that has wounded you? Perhaps that person stole from you, abused you, or hurt you in some significant way? This is the person who when you think of them emotions well up in you that are very uncomfortable to bear. You may have lost sleep over this person or you may even have feeling of hatred towards that person.
How do you, as a disciple of Christ, deal with that person? The world teaches you to lash out to hate, to despise, to get revenge, or to hurt them back in a similar or more aggressive way. But how would Christ behave towards that person?
Remember that life is about relationships and relationships are about love. Loving God is being surrendered to Him. Not loving the world is being separate from the world and its system. Loving self is having a sober view of who you are and how you fit. Loving others means that you are seeking ways to serve and care for other’s needs as an offering to God.
Matthew 5:43 – 44 says “ Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; . . .”
So, what does it look like to love your enemies? First of all it is not possible, humanly speaking, to do this. It takes a Supernatural Power within you; it takes the power of Christ working through you to love your enemies! Romans 12:14 – 21 gives instructions on how to do it.
Romans 12:14-21 “Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”
There are three separate commands here:
1. Romans 12:14-16 commands us to bless those who persecute you.
2. Romans 12:17-20 commands us to not take revenge; for a Christian personal retaliation is not an option!
3. Romans 12:21 commands us to repay evil with good.
So, how do you bless those that persecute you, not take revenge, and do good to those who have hurt you? Forgiveness is the key!
Forgiving, like loving, is more that just saying the words! How many times in your life have you told someone that you forgive them (because that is the expected thing to do) only to harbor bitterness in your heart towards that person?
Just like loving someone, forgiving is an action and it is a progression over time.
· Forgive: Forgiving someone is an act of the will. You make a conscious decision to forgive – you say, before God, “I forgive you” and you really mean it. Your action is to release the person to God for His handling.
· Forgiving: Forgiving is a process, you must forgive that person every day that the hurt and bitterness comes back; you’ve got to “let it go!” Your action is to align your emotions by an act of your will; it takes a period of time for your emotions to catch up with your will.
· Forgiven: You get to this point when your desire is to bless your enemy; literally you will want their salvation, you will want God’s blessing of forgiveness to fall on them – just like it fell once upon you! God forgave you – you should want God to forgive them also!
The progression may be evidenced by your prayers as follows:
· Dear God help them see the error of their ways; to
· Dear God Bring discipline on them so that they will repent; to
· Dear God I don’t want what I deserve, please don’t give them what they deserve; have mercy on them. (Luke 23:24)
The lesson on having a supernatural response for a disciple of Christ is for you to forgive those that have wronged you, do good to them as God has done good to you!
I'm praying for each reader to strive to become a Romans chapter 12 Christian.
Ed
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
What's a Child to Do?
What’s a Child to Do?
Introduction – God’s First Words to Children
Ephesians viewpoint of children:
- Patria Poestas – The father’s power is absolute: to sell you, to take your life; for the lifetime of the father.
- Power to accept or reject: child laid at fathers feet – to accept by picking up the child or to reject by turning away: if rejected infant is taken to forum or destroyed.
- Unwanted children: too many mouths to feed. Children taken to forum and left; may be claimed by others who would sell child as slave (male) or prostitute (female).
- Merciless to the deformed or sickly child.
It is the bible and Christ that changed the culture by the introduction of family.
The first time God spoke to man at Mount Sinai he gave commandments; the first commandment regarding human relationships was the fifth commandment (Exodus 20:12)
The Command – “Honour thy father and thy mother:”
The Promise – “that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”
Exodus 20:12
I. What Does It Mean “To Honor” Your Parents?
- Definition = lit. “to glorify, to ascribe value and worth, to respect, to hold in high regard”
- Word Usage in Old Testament =
Leviticus 19:3 – to fear, have awe, and respect.
Deuteronomy 26:19 – give fame, praise, and speak well of a person.
1 Sam 2:29-30 – wants to please and above any other relationship
II. Why Did God Give This Command?
1. It is the Foundation for Human Relationships: Honor is the foundation of all human relationships; this is God’s plan
2. It is the Foundation for Respect of Authority: God wants us to have reverence, obedience and respect for authority; He wants us to submit to an authority figure that we can see as a child so that when we are older we will submit to an authority that we cannot see.
3. It is the Foundation of Human development: How you relate to your parents will impact every area of your life. How you relate, how you love, how you obey, how you respect, how you respond: your relationship with your parents is the most fundamental shaping relationship you will every experience in the world. For better or worse, how you view your sexuality, your self image, your values, your morals, your principals are shaped by this relationship and are what you will become.
Parents, you are to live in such a way that you will deserve honor; Kids, there is a guardian, an authority figure, over you to whom you are to revere, respect, and obey as though they are speaking for God!
III. What Does It Look Like To Honor Our Parents?
- As a Child, I honor my parents by obeying them.
"Children, obey (obey = hoopo+achuo; under the sound of a voice) your parents in the Lord: for this is right. (God says so) Honour thy father and mother; which is the first (priority ranking) commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth." Ephesians 6:1-3
Summary: When you obey your parent, you are obeying God!
Definition of a parent = In loco dia which is Latin for instead of or in place of God.
Three thoughts about biblical obedience:
- It must be immediate
- It must be complete (the bible is full of examples of incomplete obedience, Saul being one of then). Partial obedience is dis-obedience.
- It is attitude: your body language must be right, your actions must be right, your eyes must be right: obedience must be from the heart!
Obey even if you do not agree with the command. Decide that I am going to obey mother, not because she is right (she is human after all), but because God ordained her to be my mother. When you do that all of God’s blessing will flow into into your life.
Another observation:
This passage was written at a time that it would be read to the church. Since this is a command directed to children then children would have been present to hear God’s command to them. This verse was written directly to children.
Three observations:
- God addresses children directly, children have great value in His eyes.
- Children are accountable for commands that they hear.
- Since children were present with their families, it is meant for families to worship together!
- As a Young Person, I honor my parents by respecting and cooperating with them.
"Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old." Proverbs 23:22
"Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness." Proverbs 20:20
God is very serious about disobedient children, in fact He ranks disobedience right up with murder, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, and inventors of evil things. See Romans 1:29-30
Also repeated in 2 Timothy 3:2 “. . . disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy. . .”
God is serious about disrespect – see Deut: 21:18-21 for the Old Testament solution for rebellious child.
- As an Adult, I honor my parents by affirmation and provision.
(Affirmation verses)
“The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him.” (Affirmation by words) Proverbs 23:24
“Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it.” (Affirmation by action) Proverbs 3:27
The greatest gift of affirmation is your character; it’s who you are not how successful or rich.
Key words:
- Communication (call them, write – e-mail them),
- thoughtfulness (include them in special events), and
- Respect (Ask them for some advice).
(Provision verses)
“But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.” 1Timothy 5:4
“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” 1Timothy 5:8
Also see Matthew 15:1-9
IV. Are There Times When We Can’t Honor Our Parents’ Wishes? Yes!
Mark 10:23–31 = The Priority of Salvation
Luke 9:59–62 = The Priority of Service
Ephesians 5:31-33 = The Priority of Marriage
Proverbs 9:7–9 = The Priority of Wisdom
Discussion Questions
1. Why do you think God makes the family such a high priority? How does He feel about children?
2. How does our culture’s view of both “authority” and “aging” affect our obedience to the 5th Command?
3. In what ways do you feel good about how you are “honoring your parents?” Which aspects need some attention? How will you address these?
4. Where do you find it difficult “to know” exactly what honoring your parents looks like? Who could you talk to get help in this area?
Sunday, May 3, 2009
What’s a Parent to Do?
There is no greater joy than to hear your child say to someone else that what they want to do or be when they grow up is to be like Dad or Mom. All parents desire that their child grow and develop, that there is a strong bond and that the child will carry on and do right. This is a long term goal.
The Question - What’s it take to raise kids that love God and love you when they’re grown? Scripture clearly shows us how. In fact in Ephesians 6:4 we have a peep hole into which if we look the whole picture of the truth and what to do opens up.
The Answer - Ephesians 6:4 – 4 Key Words
Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
- “don’t provoke” = over correct, be harsh, fault finding, perfectionist. Parents don’t keep raising the bar; watch the ought’s, must’s, should’s, and don’ts.
- “bring up” = nurture, rear, tenderly develop in the sphere of character and principles (tender love and tough love) Nurturing, in this sense, is to treat with fond affection, care and concern.
- “nurture” = discipline, chastise, training (2 Tim. 3:16 “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:) It’s what is done to the child. (Through your actions behavior is changed)
- “admonition” = instruction, warn, correct, reprove, implore It’s what is said to the child.
Summary – We are to parent with LOVE and LIMITS
In the past several weeks we have been exploring Gods plan for our lives. It starts with a Covenant marriage; Men are to step up to provide, protect, and nurture; Women are to step in to support to nurture, protect, and provide; parents are to be good stewards of the children God has blessed them where you have unconditional love for that child and that you bring the child to be raised to be a good Christian by setting limits and direct their path.
Secular Research’s Affirmation – 4 Kinds of Parents
1. Permissive = high love, low discipline; fearful style; afraid to discipline due to fear the child will not like them.
2. Neglectful = low love, low discipline; parents don’t give a rip; forsaken style.
3. Authoritarian = low love, high discipline; fighting style; Hitler; lots of ought, do, don’t, should; children reject parents and faith, and rebel.
4. Authoritative = high love, high discipline; children have positive long term relationships with family and others.
Secular research came to the conclusion that parents that provided lots of love and set limits raised well balanced adjusted children - Just as God said so many years ago!
So, how do you do this with a 2 year old, a 15 year old, a 8 year old?
In Hebrew 12:4-11 scripture gives us a snapshot of how to do this by looking on God’s parenting methods.
God’s Prescription for Child Development
“Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. 5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: 6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. 9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? 10 For they (earthly fathers) verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he (God) for our profit, (why) that we might be partakers of his holiness. 11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.” Hebrews 12:4-11
Summary = Discipline is teaching obedience to God and His Word through consistent consequences (actions) and clear instructions (words) in an atmosphere of love.
_ The necessity of discipline = To deter _(Destruction)_ v. 4.
Sin brings ruin to relationships with God and man, brings illness, and loss. We have a sin nature from birth; none of us has to be taught to sin.
Illustration of chalet, sports car, winding road with guardrails, they are seen by us as a distraction, a pain but God places them there for our protection; if we were to break through the guardrail we would fall 1000 feet and be a pancake. These guardrails are His instructions; they are there for our good to prevent our destruction. God loves us so much that when you get going to fast or off the path He will bring circumstance to bear to bring you back; a ding here, a loss there, what ever it takes to keep you on the right path.
_ The means of discipline = The action and words to bring about change. v. 5.
Consistent actions and clear instruction need to be given to keep one on the right path; so that you land well with holiness.
_ The motive in discipline = To express __Love_v. 6-9.
Love is giving people what they need to become all they are supposed to become; that it may be good for them.
The issue is to give your child what they need, not necessarily what they want, and what they need is to respect you.
There is a difference between punishment and discipline: punishment is to pay a price for past misdeeds; discipline is to correct behavior towards future behavior. Christ paid for past misdeeds. God never punishes but He does discipline; the goal of discipline is not payment but to redirect your path.
_ The goal of discipline = To teach _obedience _v. 9.
Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” The word “obey” here means to respond to or be under the sound of a voice; the commands of a parent.
Teaching your small child to obey your voice quickly is paramount in the early years.
If you cannot teach your child to obey your voice the first time when they can see you, how do you expect them to obey the voice of an invisible God that cannot be seen?
Christ said John 15:14 “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you”
_ The result of discipline = Short term _Pain_ and long term _Gain_ v. 10-11.
Discipline with 10 years in mind; imagine an 18year old wanting to date your 15 year old daughter - good thing will not happen. Let her slam the door, declare that "Ihave the worst parents in the whole world"; she and you will have short term pain, but in 10 years you (and she) will be glad for the decision.
Some parents fear to set limits because they are in a popularity contest; they fear loss of their child’s love. Children need to respect you not love you. Children know they are loved when the parents sets limits. They will be glad, you will be glad – later.
There has to be actions / consequences.
_ Small Children: (1-6) # 1 priority: They must learn to obey your voice, the first time.
_ Preteens: (7-12) #1 priority: learn to be responsible. Responsible for their actions, attitudes, homework, chores, room, pets, etc. You need to set up systems and structures to enforce habits with consequences for both good and bad behavior. Make the responsibilities very clear such as “When your bed is made and your homework is done then these things may happen“ and “When your bed is not made, your homework not done, you talk back then this happens.” Write it out; post it where it is clearly seen. This is a contract; when you do this, and this, and this then this will happen. Teaching responsibility is paramount. Your child will not have an employer who will call your child to get then to come to work three times a day.
By the time your child is in Junior High they should have an alarm clock, get themselves up, dress for and be ready for the day. By early High School they should be doing their own laundry and maybe helping with meal preparation or yard work.
_ Teens: (13-16) #1 priority learn to make good choices. They should be starting to be self directed. . Discipline is towards choosing, friends, money, clothes, spending time, music, and setting priorities. The how is through contracts. Negotiate the consequences of poor choices. Sit down with your child on a weekly basis and have a family conference to discuss family values and their choices. With a signed contract you don’t have to have a power struggle; you are not the “bad guy”.
Words = Clear instructions (Proverbs 1:8 “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:”; Proverbs 2:1-2 “My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee; So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding;”; Proverbs 3:1 “My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:”; Proverbs 7:1-2 “My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee. Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of thine eye.”)
_ Small Children:
“The Who”: Who is God?
“The What”; what is He like? He is kind, He is loving, He is holy, He is the creator.
“The content”: Old testament stories, lots about Jesus: Jesus rescues Peter in the boat, the calming storm, the raising of lazarus, Jesus is God, Jesus is your friend.
“The How”: Bed time stories; read to them, talk to them, pray with them.
_ Preteens:
“The What”: What is right, what is wrong, what is true, what is untrue. This is a time for memorizing books of the bible, and scripture. Teach basic bible doctrines: who is Christ, what is the trinity, what is baptism, salvation, heaven, hell, devil, sin, etc.
“The How”: suppertime discussions – keep it short and frequent.
_ Teens:
“The Why” Why should I believe that God created the world, my teacher says that we evolved? Why should I believe that sex before marriage is wrong, nobody else believes this? Why should I submit to authority? Why should I believe that God has my best interest in mind?
Now is the time to teach them how to think. Teach them basic apologetics. Teach them the biblical view of the world as opposed to the world view. Teach them how to find truth in the bible themselves. Teach them to have their own devotions.
Discuss at the supper table what they are reading right now and what they think about it. Give reading assignments and discuss what they have read.
This is the time for them to be making their own choices. It is not a bad thing to let them make a bad choice and to have to suffer the consequences of it. It is better for this to happen while they are still at home than once they have left!
PUNISHMENT VS. DISCLIPLINE
PUNISHMENT vs. DISCLIPLINE
PUNISHMENT
Purpose: To inflict penalty for an offense
Focus: Past misdeeds
Attitude: Hostility and frustration on the part of the parent
Resulting emotion in the child: Fear and guilt
DISCLIPLINE
Purpose: To train for correction and maturity
Focus: Future correct acts
Attitude: Love and concern on the part of the parent
Resulting emotion in the child: Security
Practical Tips for Balanced Parenting
1. Have a few, clear responsibilities / rules; keep it simple.
2. Develop written contracts; be objective.
3. Negotiate consequences with your child.
4. Be consistent!
5. The older they get, the fewer the rules.
6. Train them to be on their own.
Develop A Game Plan
1. Identify the top two problems
2. Honestly evaluate your parenting style
3. Have a family conference; lay out the problems; theirs and yours, if you need to ask for forgiveness if you have been wrong
4. Prepare to be tested,
The Question - What’s it take to raise kids that love God and love you when they’re grown? Scripture clearly shows us how. In fact in Ephesians 6:4 we have a peep hole into which if we look the whole picture of the truth and what to do opens up.
The Answer - Ephesians 6:4 – 4 Key Words
Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
- “don’t provoke” = over correct, be harsh, fault finding, perfectionist. Parents don’t keep raising the bar; watch the ought’s, must’s, should’s, and don’ts.
- “bring up” = nurture, rear, tenderly develop in the sphere of character and principles (tender love and tough love) Nurturing, in this sense, is to treat with fond affection, care and concern.
- “nurture” = discipline, chastise, training (2 Tim. 3:16 “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:) It’s what is done to the child. (Through your actions behavior is changed)
- “admonition” = instruction, warn, correct, reprove, implore It’s what is said to the child.
Summary – We are to parent with LOVE and LIMITS
In the past several weeks we have been exploring Gods plan for our lives. It starts with a Covenant marriage; Men are to step up to provide, protect, and nurture; Women are to step in to support to nurture, protect, and provide; parents are to be good stewards of the children God has blessed them where you have unconditional love for that child and that you bring the child to be raised to be a good Christian by setting limits and direct their path.
Secular Research’s Affirmation – 4 Kinds of Parents
1. Permissive = high love, low discipline; fearful style; afraid to discipline due to fear the child will not like them.
2. Neglectful = low love, low discipline; parents don’t give a rip; forsaken style.
3. Authoritarian = low love, high discipline; fighting style; Hitler; lots of ought, do, don’t, should; children reject parents and faith, and rebel.
4. Authoritative = high love, high discipline; children have positive long term relationships with family and others.
Secular research came to the conclusion that parents that provided lots of love and set limits raised well balanced adjusted children - Just as God said so many years ago!
So, how do you do this with a 2 year old, a 15 year old, a 8 year old?
In Hebrew 12:4-11 scripture gives us a snapshot of how to do this by looking on God’s parenting methods.
God’s Prescription for Child Development
“Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. 5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: 6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. 9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? 10 For they (earthly fathers) verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he (God) for our profit, (why) that we might be partakers of his holiness. 11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.” Hebrews 12:4-11
Summary = Discipline is teaching obedience to God and His Word through consistent consequences (actions) and clear instructions (words) in an atmosphere of love.
_ The necessity of discipline = To deter _(Destruction)_ v. 4.
Sin brings ruin to relationships with God and man, brings illness, and loss. We have a sin nature from birth; none of us has to be taught to sin.
Illustration of chalet, sports car, winding road with guardrails, they are seen by us as a distraction, a pain but God places them there for our protection; if we were to break through the guardrail we would fall 1000 feet and be a pancake. These guardrails are His instructions; they are there for our good to prevent our destruction. God loves us so much that when you get going to fast or off the path He will bring circumstance to bear to bring you back; a ding here, a loss there, what ever it takes to keep you on the right path.
_ The means of discipline = The action and words to bring about change. v. 5.
Consistent actions and clear instruction need to be given to keep one on the right path; so that you land well with holiness.
_ The motive in discipline = To express __Love_v. 6-9.
Love is giving people what they need to become all they are supposed to become; that it may be good for them.
The issue is to give your child what they need, not necessarily what they want, and what they need is to respect you.
There is a difference between punishment and discipline: punishment is to pay a price for past misdeeds; discipline is to correct behavior towards future behavior. Christ paid for past misdeeds. God never punishes but He does discipline; the goal of discipline is not payment but to redirect your path.
_ The goal of discipline = To teach _obedience _v. 9.
Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” The word “obey” here means to respond to or be under the sound of a voice; the commands of a parent.
Teaching your small child to obey your voice quickly is paramount in the early years.
If you cannot teach your child to obey your voice the first time when they can see you, how do you expect them to obey the voice of an invisible God that cannot be seen?
Christ said John 15:14 “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you”
_ The result of discipline = Short term _Pain_ and long term _Gain_ v. 10-11.
Discipline with 10 years in mind; imagine an 18year old wanting to date your 15 year old daughter - good thing will not happen. Let her slam the door, declare that "Ihave the worst parents in the whole world"; she and you will have short term pain, but in 10 years you (and she) will be glad for the decision.
Some parents fear to set limits because they are in a popularity contest; they fear loss of their child’s love. Children need to respect you not love you. Children know they are loved when the parents sets limits. They will be glad, you will be glad – later.
How to Parent With Love and Limits
Actions = Consistent Consequences (Proverbs 13:24 “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”; Proverbs 22:15 “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”) Proverbs 29:19 “A servant will not be corrected by words: for though he understand he will not answer.
Actions = Consistent Consequences (Proverbs 13:24 “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”; Proverbs 22:15 “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”) Proverbs 29:19 “A servant will not be corrected by words: for though he understand he will not answer.
There has to be actions / consequences.
_ Small Children: (1-6) # 1 priority: They must learn to obey your voice, the first time.
_ Preteens: (7-12) #1 priority: learn to be responsible. Responsible for their actions, attitudes, homework, chores, room, pets, etc. You need to set up systems and structures to enforce habits with consequences for both good and bad behavior. Make the responsibilities very clear such as “When your bed is made and your homework is done then these things may happen“ and “When your bed is not made, your homework not done, you talk back then this happens.” Write it out; post it where it is clearly seen. This is a contract; when you do this, and this, and this then this will happen. Teaching responsibility is paramount. Your child will not have an employer who will call your child to get then to come to work three times a day.
By the time your child is in Junior High they should have an alarm clock, get themselves up, dress for and be ready for the day. By early High School they should be doing their own laundry and maybe helping with meal preparation or yard work.
_ Teens: (13-16) #1 priority learn to make good choices. They should be starting to be self directed. . Discipline is towards choosing, friends, money, clothes, spending time, music, and setting priorities. The how is through contracts. Negotiate the consequences of poor choices. Sit down with your child on a weekly basis and have a family conference to discuss family values and their choices. With a signed contract you don’t have to have a power struggle; you are not the “bad guy”.
Words = Clear instructions (Proverbs 1:8 “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:”; Proverbs 2:1-2 “My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee; So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding;”; Proverbs 3:1 “My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:”; Proverbs 7:1-2 “My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee. Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of thine eye.”)
_ Small Children:
“The Who”: Who is God?
“The What”; what is He like? He is kind, He is loving, He is holy, He is the creator.
“The content”: Old testament stories, lots about Jesus: Jesus rescues Peter in the boat, the calming storm, the raising of lazarus, Jesus is God, Jesus is your friend.
“The How”: Bed time stories; read to them, talk to them, pray with them.
_ Preteens:
“The What”: What is right, what is wrong, what is true, what is untrue. This is a time for memorizing books of the bible, and scripture. Teach basic bible doctrines: who is Christ, what is the trinity, what is baptism, salvation, heaven, hell, devil, sin, etc.
“The How”: suppertime discussions – keep it short and frequent.
_ Teens:
“The Why” Why should I believe that God created the world, my teacher says that we evolved? Why should I believe that sex before marriage is wrong, nobody else believes this? Why should I submit to authority? Why should I believe that God has my best interest in mind?
Now is the time to teach them how to think. Teach them basic apologetics. Teach them the biblical view of the world as opposed to the world view. Teach them how to find truth in the bible themselves. Teach them to have their own devotions.
Discuss at the supper table what they are reading right now and what they think about it. Give reading assignments and discuss what they have read.
This is the time for them to be making their own choices. It is not a bad thing to let them make a bad choice and to have to suffer the consequences of it. It is better for this to happen while they are still at home than once they have left!
PUNISHMENT VS. DISCLIPLINE
PUNISHMENT vs. DISCLIPLINE
PUNISHMENT
Purpose: To inflict penalty for an offense
Focus: Past misdeeds
Attitude: Hostility and frustration on the part of the parent
Resulting emotion in the child: Fear and guilt
DISCLIPLINE
Purpose: To train for correction and maturity
Focus: Future correct acts
Attitude: Love and concern on the part of the parent
Resulting emotion in the child: Security
Practical Tips for Balanced Parenting
1. Have a few, clear responsibilities / rules; keep it simple.
2. Develop written contracts; be objective.
3. Negotiate consequences with your child.
4. Be consistent!
5. The older they get, the fewer the rules.
6. Train them to be on their own.
Develop A Game Plan
1. Identify the top two problems
2. Honestly evaluate your parenting style
3. Have a family conference; lay out the problems; theirs and yours, if you need to ask for forgiveness if you have been wrong
4. Prepare to be tested,
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Godly Character Traits
God’s View of Children
"Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them:" (Psalm 127: 3-5)
God’s Instructions to Parents: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord . . . " (Eph 6:1-4)
Summary: Children are a gift from God, a sacred stewardship temporarily entrusted to parents for the purpose of raising godly offspring to fulfill God’s agenda for His world.
Four Snapshots of a Godly Parent:
1. Esp. 6:4 (positive clear-cut objectives)
God's metaphor of children being likened to an arrow that the parents will craft for the purpose of releasing it towards the goal is contained in Psalms 127: 3-5. For the arrow to reach the goal it's flight must be straight and true.
Each parent must have a dream, or goal, in mind for their child. Everything that you do as a parent needs to focus on reaching that goal. _ The Principle of Focus (vs. out of fear)
_ God’s Dream vs. The American Dream For Your Child:
Rom 8:28 that the life and character of Jesus be developed in their heart. God is more concerned about who they are than what they do.
God has a goal for your child too. See Romans 8:28 where it states "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." God's purpose for your child is that your child will have a heart for God and live a holy life (this is the same goal that God has for every parent). Too many parents care for their children out of fear of what storm may affect their child. Parents ought to focus on the goal and not all the fearful things out in the world.
What are some Godly goals?
Character Traits to teach your children:
- Determination – stick with it regardless;
- honesty – speak and live the truth always;
- responsibility – dependable, trustworthy, follows through;
- thoughtfulness – unconsciously thinks or others over self;
- confidentiality – not telling secrets and sealing their lips;
- punctuality – other people’s time is valuable;
- self-control – under times of stress to remain calm;
- patient – waiting without irritability, willing to wait to drive a car, willing to wait to talk;
- pure – reject anything that lowers the standard;
- compassion – when you see the hurt of another your care;
- diligent – to work hard and to tuff it out.
2. Godly parenting demands we Practice what we Teach
I write not these things to shame you, but as my beloved sons I warn you. For though ye have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet have ye not many fathers: for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel. Wherefore I beseech you, be ye followers of me. 1 Corin. 4:14-16
_The Principle of Modeling:
I’m your parent, whatever you see me do – you do the same
Your children will not do what tell them, but what they see you do
Look in the Mirror and determine if you are what you want your children to be like
_ More Is Caught Than Taught
3. Godly parents build relationships that that bond.
(Picture of a mother) But we were gentle among you, even as a nurse cherisheth her children: So being affectionately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the gospel of God only, but also our own souls, because ye were dear unto us. 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8
(picture of a father) As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children, That ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory. 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12
The Principle of Relationship
Eight “Keys” That Build Relationships That Bond
1. Unconditional love
2. schedule time
3. focused attention
4. eye contact
5. meaningful touching
6. ongoing communication
7. have fun together
8. pray with them
4. Godly parenting requires constant repair and ongoing maintenance.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
_ The Principle of Process
It’s a journey what works today will not work in six months.
_ 5 Magic Words - !
“I’m sorry, please forgive me.”
And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Job Description for a Woman
What’s a Woman to Do? (Applying Eph 5:21- 33)
Introduction – Please Show Me Which Box Top?
The nun, rockwall, steinham, brown, modern woman
The Modern woman: 2 roles (job / home), 2 children, 2 much.
_ The What = “Step In” and Support
_ The How = A Woman’s Top 3 Priorities
1. Nurture – create a relational environment that promotes the spiritual, emotional and physical welfare of those around you.
2. Protection – to minimize the harmful influences and effects upon lives she is entrusted to nurture; ex: mother bear.
3. Provision – to maximize the spiritual, emotional and physical resources and relationships to do good.
Same three words as for man but not in same order nor scope: man is exterior and interior; woman is interior (home)
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. . She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-12
“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.” 1 Timothy 5:14
“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:3-5
The focus is in the home to nurture the relationships of the husband and home.
What does God want you to do? Imagine what you want your life to be in 20 years; what will you marriage look like?; what will your children be like? What values to you want them to be living?
A wife’s 1st priority is to support, affirm, and empower her husband to fulfill his God-given calling both within and outside the home. (Genesis 2:18) corresponding part.
Sacrifice your life to your family
_ The Role = “The Champion” – A teammate and best friend
_ The Practical Outworking
Introduction – Please Show Me Which Box Top?
The nun, rockwall, steinham, brown, modern woman
The Modern woman: 2 roles (job / home), 2 children, 2 much.
_ The What = “Step In” and Support
_ The How = A Woman’s Top 3 Priorities
1. Nurture – create a relational environment that promotes the spiritual, emotional and physical welfare of those around you.
2. Protection – to minimize the harmful influences and effects upon lives she is entrusted to nurture; ex: mother bear.
3. Provision – to maximize the spiritual, emotional and physical resources and relationships to do good.
Same three words as for man but not in same order nor scope: man is exterior and interior; woman is interior (home)
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. . She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-12
“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.” 1 Timothy 5:14
“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:3-5
The focus is in the home to nurture the relationships of the husband and home.
What does God want you to do? Imagine what you want your life to be in 20 years; what will you marriage look like?; what will your children be like? What values to you want them to be living?
A wife’s 1st priority is to support, affirm, and empower her husband to fulfill his God-given calling both within and outside the home. (Genesis 2:18) corresponding part.
Sacrifice your life to your family
_ The Role = “The Champion” – A teammate and best friend
_ The Practical Outworking
1. Make Time With God Your #1 Priority
You can’t impart what you don’t possess. The most spiritually, emotionally and physically demanding job is running a home that yields transformational love.
- God has equipped you with abilities above that of man, you can multi-task five times better.
- You must draw on supernatural resources to do what you are called to do!
2. Pray For Him Regularly – your power is indirect
Prov 21:1 “The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.
- Pray for God to give him wisdom, to be humble, to have a thirst for God, to be used for God, to be sensitive.
3. Plan For Him Daily
- Planned attention, love, communication and nurture of your marriage is essential;
- Plan special dinners, a special deed of kindness, a time alone with your husband – put the kids to bed early!
- The hardest time in a man’s life – birth of 1st child. Effects of the new child on the husband, leads to 2nd greatest time for divorce which is the maturing of the children.
4. Prepare For Him Daily
- do what you did to catch him; your dress is appropriate and not sloppy; the environment is calm and loving, the home is not a disaster.
- question: what do I need to do to mentally, emotionally and physically prepare for a relational connection and romance
5. Protect Your Time With Him
- Your husband is the #1 human relationship on this planet!
- If you allow your children to supplant your husband you will destroy your marriage!
- Get away from the kids; make him #1
I. A wife’s 2nd priority is to create an environment in the home that nurtures and develops her children to fulfill God’s will for their lives. (1 Timothy 5:14)
The word “guide” means to care for or to manage; in other words you are the COO of the home. You must set priorities, and plan, utilize your best thinking, best time management by knowing the capacities, limits and needs of each family member.
_ The Role = “The Mother” – A teacher, counselor, consoler, and refuge for her children: the goal is to give your children what they need and not what they want – and what they need is to understand who God is!
Children should not set the direction of the family!
_ The Practical Outworking
1. Model Dependency on Christ.
· Your children ultimately not do what you tell them; they will become what you are (Luke 6:40) every disciple will become as their master. When your child sees you seeking God for provision; seeing you depending on God for every need – seeing what you say “yes” to and “No” to models dependency.
· You must set a priority to develop you spiritual self to be able to model dependency on God!
2. Pray For Your Children Fervently.
· What is your biggest concern for your children? It is likely will they do right in your absence. What control do you have? Zero! Your only power comes for your fervent prayer!
· Luke 11:9 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Things that you can’t change need to be turned over to God; He can change their hearts.
3. Create Structures and Scheduled Times That Make Family Life a Priority.
· Things which is hoped for but not scheduled rarely happens! Examples: dinner time, bed time, vacations, holidays, birthdays are all great times to schedule family time! Laugh, Kidd, share, pray; values will be transferred and your hearts will be knit together!
· Forget youth sports and the ballet; these do not build family ties.
4. Teach Them How to Live
· Mothers are the greatest teacher!
· Teach them to: read, pray, cook, listen, celebrate good things, to be generous, a craft, to give a speech, resolve conflict, write a story or letter, to play an instrument, a sport, how to relax, critical thinking, to ponder life.
5. Make Time For Them – Be Available
· The best things in life are not in your schedule – you have to be available. (Mommy, I’m going to cry in 30 minutes so get mentally prepared)
· Exhausted, harried, pushed, over extended, pressured, stressed out mothers simply cannot mother well! You must create margins of time in your life for your children!
· You must be there if at all possible for the early years of a child’s life. Brain development is greatest in the first 3 years, their personalities are set by 6; who is going to mother them to maximize this development? A baby sitter?
WE have evolved motherhood into a 2 role, 2 job, 2 much – We men have allowed our wives to be placed into an impossible situation!
II. A woman’s 3rd priority is to train younger women in the art of becoming a godly wife and mother. (Titus 2:3-5)
_ The Role = “The Mentor” – A spiritual guide to provide practical insight and coaching. We are commanded by God to train the upcoming generation.
_ The Practical Outworking = Join a Women’s Mentoring Program.
III. Important Questions To Ponder
1. Should a woman work outside the home? When? Why? Why not? Only if your first and second priorities are being fulfilled.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Job Description for a Man
What’s a Man to Do?
Introduction – Would Someone Show Me the “Box Top?”
_ The What = “Step Up” in Love (Ephesians 5:21-33)
_ The How = A Man’s Top 3 Priorities
1. Provision
2. Protection
3. Nurture
“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
1 Timothy 5:8
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
1 Peter 3:7
(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
1 Timothy 3:5
How to “Step Up” In Love to Lead Your Wife and Family
I. Husbands hold primary responsibility for the financial provision of their families. 1 Timothy 5:8
_ The Role = The Family “CFO/Bank President”
_ The Responsibility = Shelter, food, clothes, financial training
_ The Practical Outworking = 5 Objectives
1. Do Honest Work
2. Honor God First
3. Live Within Your Means
4. Prepare for the Future
5. Train Your Children
_ The Core Values = To Model and Teach
1. Work Ethic
2. Stewardship of Money and Time
3. Responsibility and Discipline
4. Enjoyment and Generosity
II. Husbands hold primary responsibility for the spiritual development and protection of their families. (1 Peter 3:7; Ephesians 6:4; Deuteronomy 6:4-9)
_ The Role = The Family “Priest”
_ The Responsibility = Come before God on behalf of your family and come before your family on behalf of God.
_ The Practical Outworking = 5 Objectives
1. Set the Pace Personally
2. Know the Spiritual Condition of Your Wife and Children
3. Pray For Them and With Them Regularly
4. Insure Biblical Instruction Occurs At Home and At Church
5. Make Experiencing God and Loving Each Other (not morality) Your Aim
_ The Core Values = To Model and Teach
1. Dependency Evidenced By Prayer/Fasting
2. Faith In God and His Word
3. A Service and Outreach Orientation
4. Progressive Growth In Personal Holiness
III. Husbands hold primary responsibility for the relational health and welfare of their families. (1 Timothy 5:5; Ephesians 6:4; 1 Peter 3:7)
_ The Role = The Family “GM/Coach”
_ The Responsibility = To manage the household in a manner that produces love, obedience, and respect toward God and one another.
_ The Practical Outworking = 5 Objectives
1. The Marriage Covenant Is Verbalized and Celebrated
2. Time Is Scheduled To Develop Marriage and Family Relationships
3. Structure and Boundaries Are Provided To Insure Family Relationships Take Priority Over Outside Demands
4. Communication Is Built Into the Fabric and Rhythm of the Family Schedule
5. Consequences Are Exercised Fairly, Firmly, and Lovingly Among All Family Members
_ The Core Values = To Model and Teach
1. Acceptance - Unconditionally
2. Affirmation – Specifically and Consistently
3. Accountability – Filled With Truth and Grace
4. Conflict Resolution – “Speaking the Truth In Love”
Introduction – Would Someone Show Me the “Box Top?”
_ The What = “Step Up” in Love (Ephesians 5:21-33)
_ The How = A Man’s Top 3 Priorities
1. Provision
2. Protection
3. Nurture
“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
1 Timothy 5:8
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
1 Peter 3:7
(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
1 Timothy 3:5
How to “Step Up” In Love to Lead Your Wife and Family
I. Husbands hold primary responsibility for the financial provision of their families. 1 Timothy 5:8
_ The Role = The Family “CFO/Bank President”
_ The Responsibility = Shelter, food, clothes, financial training
_ The Practical Outworking = 5 Objectives
1. Do Honest Work
2. Honor God First
3. Live Within Your Means
4. Prepare for the Future
5. Train Your Children
_ The Core Values = To Model and Teach
1. Work Ethic
2. Stewardship of Money and Time
3. Responsibility and Discipline
4. Enjoyment and Generosity
II. Husbands hold primary responsibility for the spiritual development and protection of their families. (1 Peter 3:7; Ephesians 6:4; Deuteronomy 6:4-9)
_ The Role = The Family “Priest”
_ The Responsibility = Come before God on behalf of your family and come before your family on behalf of God.
_ The Practical Outworking = 5 Objectives
1. Set the Pace Personally
2. Know the Spiritual Condition of Your Wife and Children
3. Pray For Them and With Them Regularly
4. Insure Biblical Instruction Occurs At Home and At Church
5. Make Experiencing God and Loving Each Other (not morality) Your Aim
_ The Core Values = To Model and Teach
1. Dependency Evidenced By Prayer/Fasting
2. Faith In God and His Word
3. A Service and Outreach Orientation
4. Progressive Growth In Personal Holiness
III. Husbands hold primary responsibility for the relational health and welfare of their families. (1 Timothy 5:5; Ephesians 6:4; 1 Peter 3:7)
_ The Role = The Family “GM/Coach”
_ The Responsibility = To manage the household in a manner that produces love, obedience, and respect toward God and one another.
_ The Practical Outworking = 5 Objectives
1. The Marriage Covenant Is Verbalized and Celebrated
2. Time Is Scheduled To Develop Marriage and Family Relationships
3. Structure and Boundaries Are Provided To Insure Family Relationships Take Priority Over Outside Demands
4. Communication Is Built Into the Fabric and Rhythm of the Family Schedule
5. Consequences Are Exercised Fairly, Firmly, and Lovingly Among All Family Members
_ The Core Values = To Model and Teach
1. Acceptance - Unconditionally
2. Affirmation – Specifically and Consistently
3. Accountability – Filled With Truth and Grace
4. Conflict Resolution – “Speaking the Truth In Love”
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